Am I Overreacting?
I am struggling with an issue at school with my son. I am writing about it to you, my sweet blog friends, in the hopes that you can offer some perspective.A little background:
After many months of struggling with home schooling I put my son into 1st grade. It was one of the most peaceful transitions I have ever made in my life. I could go on & on about how God used it to teach & show me things as well as build up my faith. Ok so I digress...
1st grade was going along well until a month ago.
Yep we had an "issue".
Jman lied.
He lied about finishing his AR quizzes. He reported 100%'s when he didn't make that score. The teacher caught him & he didn't fess up. He was made to re-read & re-take every AR book/quiz. We also dealt with this issue at home. He was grounded, even from a baseball game, it was a hard week for him.
((Sigh))
So two days later I get a call. J1 has lied again. He was taking his timed math quiz & when the teacher said "Pencils down.". He continued to finish his quiz. The teacher of course busted him & sent him to the principle. He received in house suspension on a Friday for lying. In house is where you sit in a room all day with stacks of work. You have to eat your lunch & do your work in solitary confinement ALL DAY at seven years old.
((Even bigger Sigh))
While I am opposed to this sort of punishment for a seven year old. I kept it together for my son. We reviewed all the Biblical principles relating to this situation w/Jman. I considered counseling for him as I imagined my 16 yr old cheating & getting expelled, then dropping out & not even earning a G.E.D. & then living with us the rest of his life. Again I digress...
Bottom line, we told J1 that when you do the crime you have to do the time. We did not punish him further as we felt the humiliation he was experiencing at school was enough.
All of this said, I learned today that the principle & teacher are not allowing my son to attend the AR party this Friday even though He met is his goal. Along with not being able to attend the party he has to miss recess & write sentences. This is the response I received in email...
"We feel that if he had learned his lesson the first time then he would be able to participate in the AR party. Since he lied a second time, we feel that he did not understand how important it is to tell the truth about AR. He did get to put a star on the AR wall outside of the library. I am very proud of him for doing so well with his reading. He has become such a great reader and will be ready for second grade."
I realize he lied on his AR quiz scores & he cheated on his math quiz however he did his punishment, he was made to write sentences, he wrote a note of apology to his teacher (on his own accord) & re-did all his AR quizzes. This "discipline" has taught him the following:
*School is stressful (he has had a quiz everyday for the past 30 days)
*School is embarrassing
*It's all about the score
For the record, I know that an ice cream AR party is not that big of deal in the grand scheme of life. It is a big deal to my son. He is having to re-live the punishment again. In speaking w/his teacher she does not see character issues with him & believes this was a "bad week" for him.
As an Early Childhood Major & Teacher myself I just think this whole situation ridiculous.
What is your take on this situation? Am I overreacting? Would it be over the top to write a letter to the editor of our local paper calling for his principle's resignation ; )
Ahhh Jen ;( I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI have no advice but to PRAY and send you a (((HUG))). I hope that someone can give you the advice your searching for. I will say a pray for you all.
I just know when Bay was in 1st grade (before he was diagnosed with Tourette) he had gotten in trouble (for repeating, which is a first sign of TS!!!) and ugh I wanted to just choke the teacher and principle at times! (ESP WHEN HE WAS DIAGNOSED!) But I kept my religion and took him out of school, lol!
GREAT BIG HUGS SWEETIE!!!
Man, Jen I am so sorry. School is such a hard thing for us moms. So much of a balancing act when we are just trying to make it and help our kiddos to grow up and love Jesus with all their hearts. It is so hard because we aren't their. I will be praying for wisdom for you.
ReplyDeleteit should say there. Excuse my typos please.
ReplyDeleteSince my little man is only 4 I feel unqualified in answering this post yet I feel like we as parents need to be advocates for our children. You were diligent as a parent to ensure the issue was corrected and he was punished at home & in school... I think the continued punishment is humiliating and unreasonable on the principals part.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you and I know God will guide you in making your decision. I hope the principal changes his mind by Friday.
Blessings,
Ronel
Sweet Girl.
ReplyDeleteI have a couple thoughts here.
And a question.
First, my question is about their attitudes towards homeschooling? Have they been positive, reserved, skeptical or non-judgemental? (I saw teachers treat homeschooled kids differently when I taught for several reasons: some wanted to prove a point, some felt threatened, some just had a problem in general with homeschooling and enjoyed humiliation.)
Second, I ABSOLUTELY believe his punishment has been more than taken care of! They have gone completely over board with this exclusion from the party. He is a FIRST grader...not an adolescent who needs all day isolation to think about his deed. If he re-took all the tests, he has completed the program. HE HAS EARNED HIS AWARD. The second cheat was also punished sufficently. What exactly do they think they are teaching him by continuing the punishment?
I am riled up over this Sister~Friend.
I know from experience public teachers and principals have so many behavioral problems they deal with day in and day out they get to a point they don't see the CHILD anymore, just the problem.
I am going to ask a couple friends who are still teaching what they're opinions are...because I apparently am not impartial enough.
((Hugs))
I think the punishment was already done, and he should be allowed at the party. Of course, I just pulled my son out of his "school" (yeah, daycare) due to their attitudes and issues, so I am probably not the one to ask. You are your child's advocate after all, right?
ReplyDeleteGood luck, and I'll definitely say a prayer for you all.
I just wandered onto your blog, nice to meet you. I have raised two children one of whom is teaching 2nd grade and the second is working toward her degree in education.
ReplyDeleteCan I so lovingly say that although this treatment may seem extreme, ( of course it always does to us mom's) it is so important to stand behind the authority fiqures in your childs life. Not to say that there may be times where you have to step in, but those should be carefully determined.
I have seen so many parents over the years (some my very own friends) defending their children against the teacher that the child soon realizes that mom and dad will take care of it. Sometimes this pattern continues until adulthood. It is also very important that your child doesn't hear your doubt about the punishment.
There have been times in my life as mom where I really wanted to "pinch the heads off" of some teachers, but my 2 cents worth would have only cause my child to respect the teacher less.
It is so hard to know that others will have a hand in discipling your child. It's probably one of the hardest parts of being a parent.
Pray hard and God will guide you through the many decisions you will face in the future.
God bless you and your family.